1. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever. 2. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
3. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
4. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
5. Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
6. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
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